i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
