I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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