you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
