Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
it's like iHOP with fire
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
