Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
