I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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