...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
