thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize