it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Can you bring me the toilet please
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
