Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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