O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Randomize
