Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
