Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
