DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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