Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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