he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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