Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Randomize
