I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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