you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
