it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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