apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
