you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
