The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize