My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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