watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
