Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Randomize
