Duck Duck Cougar?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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