5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
