Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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