Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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