What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
