I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He shit in the fireplace
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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