And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Houston, we have a blender
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
