Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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