I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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