New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
