I just made out with a guy for $7.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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