I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize