We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
