Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize