he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Are my feet made of real feet?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
