Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
