Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize