I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Randomize