The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Randomize
