Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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