Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
