i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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