My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
