Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I am spending my child support on dildos
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
