if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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