How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
