We're like a lot better than the average bears
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize