Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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