guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
