Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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