There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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