I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
