if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
