You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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