do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
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