No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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