I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
