I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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