I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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