i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
