the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
