he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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