so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
