it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize