Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
wow bdsm is so cute
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