didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I'm really into asian looking animals
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
