Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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